I’ve moved!

 

I’ve hopped over to my very own website, (which looks pretty much the same as this one) But that’s where you will find all the latest updates and ramblings from me !

See you there! Click here to find me on the other side or here, or here! (It’s all the same place, but I wanted to create an air of mystery…)

Thanks,

Beth

 

A blogging brilliant day!

Just in case I haven’t mentioned it enough on social media or to anyone who has crossed my path (no matter how random), I went to Mumsnet Blogfest 2015 on Saturday and it was out of this world AMAZING! I went there like an overly excited teenager allowed out for the first time with no curfew (I even emptied my bag of squashed bananas and pants but seemed to miss the transformers poster, loo roll and a wind-up super Mario) and I left floating on inspiration, coffee, amazing line-ups and a few and a half bubbles or four.

TEN THINGS I LEARNT FROM BLOGFEST 2015

  1. If you have really bad circulation, don’t forget your super duper thermal tights, underwear and portable duvet as it will probably snow on your way there. IMG_3310

(I know it looks suspiciously like dandruff , but I promise it really did snow!… honest…..)

2. You will feel incredibly extra important when handed your name badge. You have an identity! You’re nobody’s Mum for the whole day, well you obviously are, but nobody is going to come and wipe their snot on your face or cry because you took the stairs and not the escalator (Unless you are extremely unlucky)

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3. The line-up was overwhelmingly amazing, just incredible. I was a star-struck fan during every talk, presentation and session, hanging on to every word like an over amorous monkey.

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4. That we are our own worst enemy. We need to believe in ourselves and big ourselves and everybody else up daily, if not hourly. ( I wanted to write minute-ly but it didn’t look right; as you can see.)

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5. Everybody has a story to tell and there are some incredibly brave people out there and if by sharing your experiences it helps just one person then you’re doing a better than great job.

6.You won’t go hungry or thirsty; the food was out of this world delicious , coffee was on tap and there was a whole table dedicated to puddings and chocolate. AMAZING!

(There are no photos of the food as I was too busy snaffling it up and whistling the tune to Gojetters when people commented on how fast the chocolate cakes were going)

7. Margaret Atwood got up at 4:44am her time, (US) to talk to us via live link. She rocks!

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(She’s on the screen! Looking over us all! Amazing!)

*Please excuse rubbish out of focus photos, I was too giddy with excitement and couldn´t stop wobbling! 

8. The team who organise Blogfest have magic powers. From the outside, it  looked flawless, they were unflappably awesome and very helpful and patient when dealing with slightly lost and confused bloggers. (I’m talking about “my friend” of course)

9. I may have a teeny tiny columnist crush on one of the speakers, who in his book “How to be Beth´s a husband” wrote an ace message and it is one that was reiterated by every speaker and panelist. Nobody ever made it big through watching Homes under the Hammer or This Morning.. (Note to self to tell afore mentioned “friend” from point 8….)

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10. Take seven and a half incredibly large suitcases to house all the amazingly fab goodies you will end up with including a ping pong ball, a swanky Boden brolly, posh body lotions and a jar of festive mayonnaise and LOADS of chocolate. Unfortunately,  there is no photographic evidence as I was pounced on whilst walking  in though the door by two over zealous hooligans who ran off with my loot , leaving me with nothing but my name badge. (“Why doesn’t it say Mu-mm-eeeee? Who’s Bet-Han?”).

IMG_3393“They showed no remorse.”

10b: Don’t be put off by the price. It is worth every single penny. If you saw any of those speakers on their own, you would pay the ticket price for each show, also if you ate and drank the quantity that’s on offer, you would spend six times that. I had to bully  ask various family members for the ticket and train fare as my Christmas present and I shall forever be indebted. While we’re on the topic, If anybody’s stuck for ideas for my birthday……

 

YOU’RE WHAT?!!!

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When I had two children under two, and people dared ask me how I was. ( A dangerous question to ask any parent at the best of times.) To save the enquirer from a badly scripted episode of Eastenders meets Show me Show me (your leaky boobs and sore bits) I replied with “Tired!” one word, that is all. To which they would  reply  “Oh! You’re always tired!” and waltz off with sparks of wide awakeness turbo power shooting off their trainers.

At the time I was too blinking zonked to muster a reaction, four and a half years later I am still tired but I think familiarity numbs the pain so it kind of moulds into your grey face and you wear it like pants, necessary but not always comfortable.

 WHAT TIRED MEANS

You catch sight of Ronald Macdonald on smack in the rear view mirror and remember you haven’t washed off the make over you were given by the nearly 2 year old and the dogs three days earlier.

Instead of people cooing into the pram they are giving you sympathetic looks, not because they feel your sleepless pain but because you have a pair of George Pig pants on your head.

If you do manage to shower, you will probably do so at least 3 times in the space of seven minutes as you can’t actually remember if you did or not.

Trying to breastfeed the non breastfeeding toddler and wondering why the new born is refusing Thomas the Tank Engine spaghetti shapes.

Making plans to meet somebody for coffee , getting ready early, putting your coat on, sitting down to feed the newborn and put the toddler’s shoes on. You taste the fresh hot coffee , you savour the hilarious adult conversations then you wake up to 27 missed calls , a jumping Yo Gabba Gabba DVD and the local cavalry hammering at the door.

Taking it personally  that not everybody likes mushed carrots and Weetabix for dinner.

Putting big boy pants on the 3 month old and a nappy on the potty trained one and not realising until in the middle of a very hot and busy IKEA.

Even if your dress is on back to front and inside out. You need to be given praise! Flowers, knighthoods, trophies. You made it out of the house, Woop! You rock!

Worrying you are entering new levels of eyesight problems, before remembering you are showering with your glasses on.

Bursting into tears when a child falls over or sings, especially if it isn’t yours.

Being annoyed by everybody and anything. Especially the person who is 50 per cent responsible for the state you’re in.

When somebody says “Rest when they are sleeping” you are enjoying the image of doing your most ninja powered moves directly where it hurts and then you realise you might actually have carried them out and are too knackered to run.

Forgetting you drove to the supermarket and wondering why you forgot the sling and pram whilst carrying two wriggly, hungry, screaming children home, which is a long way away.

Taking a photo of the two cars parked either side of yours and sending an SOS whatsapp to anybody in the vicinity to please come and get your car out of the squeeze.

Listening to veterans of parenthood, who promise that it really is all worth it and realising that they are possibly most definitely right.

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