Today I sat down on the sofa with a cheese sandwich, only to be met by (rather smug) cries of “UH-OH, no smiley face for you today!” Cue, much tutting and finger wagging. “You know the rules!” they boomed. “No eating on the sofa!”
WHY I HAVE NEVER HAD A SMILEY FACE STICKER, EVER.
1. I declared it morning.
2. I dared serve a vegetable for lunch.
3. I didn’t know where the teeny tiny sparkly never seen before yellow brick was or is.
4. I was on the loo when I was “needed urgently, right now” to reach the biscuits.
5. I didn’t have the right biscuits.
6. I can`t do a cartwheel. (Star jumps aren’t cool, apparently)
7. I made them go to school.
8. We don’t live in or near Legoland.
9. I sat down, when I should have been protecting the castle from the bad fairy pirate.
10. I mentioned teeth and brushing all in the same sentence.
11. Only one child got a smiley face. (Try explaining to a tired 3 year old, why hitting your brother really hard with a bucket full of lego, doesn’t warrant a smiley face.)
12. I declared it bedtime, when there were still “100 years left” of the day.
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